Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Already Here

Just a quick note:
I've already moved to my San Diego studio apartment and am one semester in to my MA in Theatre Arts. I spent much of my initial time here realizing the faculty's lack of interest in me or doing me favors and, subsequently, stepping on their toes (repeatedly) as I vied for projects, positions, and recognition (not as in notoriety, but as in knowing who I am). The grades I received reflect the amount of embarrassment and aggravation I caused a handful of my professors.
I started this latest adventure alone and expected to take it on as such. Unexpectedly, a month in, my best friend was accepted to a school in the same neighborhood as my family's residence. Since then, I'm very much so less alone and am trying to find balance in my need for socialization, my competitive nature in the academic realm, my drive to be needed both professionally and personally, the financial mystery that is my employment/lack thereof/loans/academic possibilities, and all the other detritus that floats my way.
  • my cat has acquired a lump that the vet has deemed (likely) feline breast cancer. (I can't afford to take care of it)
  • my great-grandmother is within days of dying
  • my sister has been diagnosed with (likely) lymphoma or leukemia
Also, it's just past New Year's Day and Shane and I are making life-changes to improve our overall health and lose weight. It's difficult because this place is getting to us and making us neurotic and insecure. My mother and sister have recently both dropped to size sixes and I'm fighting spiraling into starving myself. (I don't know why it's easier for me, but just moving towards drastically starving myself is easier than gradual and slow change. I'll leave the obvious analysis of that for another time.)
In any case, we've started drinking obscene amounts of water and I'm undertaking the Full Plate Diet (even tho' I don't believe in diets). This makes sense to me since it just gives a title to what I already do what I try to lose weight.

That's enough for now.

(I'll keep you updated.)